Becoming Beautiful: Less Than Flawless

It's a little known fact that society holds women to impossible standards. Just kidding, everyone knows that. In fact, wherever and whenever you find yourself reading this, there is probably something readily accessible that will remind you of this harsh fact. Do you have social media accounts? If so, you've undoubtedly noticed that a girl laden in makeup gets infinitely more attention on social media than a "regular" girl. Do you have television? It seems like even commercial for Hardee's hamburgers have to tie in unrealistic portrayals of what a women should look like. A girl can't even catch a break at the super market- she gets stared down by intimidating glances from airbrushed models while she waits to check out. We even get glances from our peers and random strangers on a daily basis if the way we look doesn't please someone else.

A friend of mine (let's call her Heather) once asked me if she should wear a dress to an event. She even sent me a picture of  her in the dress along with her question. She looked beautiful. I told her of course she should. Her reason for asking? A girl that would be attending the event who has a reputation for being mean had the same dress and Heather was afraid of being talked about by that mean girl and her friends, Regina George and Karen Smith.

It's really hard to remember that we are important too when you see impossibly tan girls with pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair, manicures, and outfits that look like they were hand-selected by a Vogue fashion consultant. There is one crucial thing that we must remember, however. We are so important that someone died for us.

Did you know that the Bible actually talks about Jesus' appearance? Isaiah 53:2 says this:

 "He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him,

 and no beauty that we should desire Him." 

Yet even though He wasn't physically attractive, Christ was the most beautiful person who ever walked this Earth. Truthfully, the only beautiful thing about us is Christ in us. 

Audrey Hepburn once said that happy girls are the prettiest. If happy girls are the prettiest, then girls who find their joy in Christ must be simply radiant. Psalm 139:14 says, "I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." You see, when God made us, He made no mistakes. When we accepted God's gift of salvation, we became beautiful through Christ and only through Him. There is no standard that the world can create that will take away from the beauty Christ puts in us. We can, however, take away from our beauty with the things we add to our lives.

If you read much Dr. Seuss as a child, you probably know that Yertle the Turtle was king of the pond. He lived on a stone, but wasn't happy with his view so he made other turtles stack up on top of each other so he could stand on top of all of them and look over all he was king of. Some people are that way about appearance. They either so unhappy with how they look or they are so happy with how they look that they have to bring in others to make themselves feel better. It often starts simply enough. They merely pull in a few others to reaffirm their attractiveness. After a while, it isn't enough to simply reaffirm each other- they move on to judging others based on their appearance. This girl is too manly. That girl is chubby. This girl dresses poorly. Another girl is too pale. 

When people get to this point, other people begin to notice. It won't be long before they fall like Yertle the Turtle did once people finally had enough. When we base everything on comparisons, we all fall. 

The problem is that we get caught up in horizontal comparisons. We are looking all around us instead of setting our gaze on things above. Time spent comparing ourselves to those around us is time wasted. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is Christ.

When we try to fit the world's beauty standards, we will never measure up. When we try to become more like Christ, we have a better chance. We will never be just like Him, but when our soul desire is to have a heart that looks like His, a beautiful light will shine through our lives. Trying to be like Him is a life long journey where He guides us and gives us strength every step of the way. Trying to fit the world's beauty standards is like running back to back timed marathons for the rest of your life with no relief. When you finally finish one, you are already behind on another. 

When the only beauty standard we are trying to live up to is the one set by Christ, we will still be less than flawless but we certainly have a better chance of becoming beautiful. We are beautiful when we stop working on our outside and let Him shape our hearts.

God is the Ultimate Gentleman

I wasn't going to write anything heavy this week. I had my fun post and I thought that was where I would leave my writing. God, however, had a different plan as He so often does. Has anything ever kept popping up around you to the point that there was no denying it was God speaking to you? Here's what He's been saying...

God is the perfect gentleman.

Sure, we may know this and it may make perfect sense, but do we ever really think about it? God doesn't make people do things they don't want to do. (He may have them be swallowed by a huge fish to get a reality check, but He doesn't force people to do anything.) We choose salvation. It's like the ice cream truck drove up to your house and the ice cream guy said, "Hey! Do you want all the ice cream in this truck for free? Also, there is literally a never ending supply of ice cream in here and it will never give you a brain freeze." The obvious choice would be a roaring, "YES!" right? Well, some people say, "No thanks, I'm good."

The offer is extended but some people say no. Why? Well C.S. Lewis summed it up pretty well when he said this:

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

We aspire for so little when so much is offered. We think that anything you can make with our own hands is better than what came from the hands of the Maker. 

There is a play by Christopher Marlowe called Doctor Faustus. The titular character is the classic example of someone who has everything the world has to offer but wants more. He wants fame and he wants glory so he sells his soul to the devil. He wants to repent. He wants to turn back from his ways and cry out to God for help, but he doesn't. He feels like he has ran so far from God that he can't ask for help. 

So often lost people feel like Faustus. They feel like they have ran so far from God that they aren't even worthy of calling out His name. They would love to and they may have gotten close to crying out to the Lord, but every time they do, Satan whispers in their ear reminding them of all they've done. They don't feel worthy of coming to their Father because of what they've done. Sound familiar?

In the parable of the Prodigal Son, Jesus spelled out exactly how vast and forgiving God's love is. Like the father of the prodigal son, God rejoices when His children come home to Him. God isn't shooting you angry messages asking where you are and He isn't going to be standing there at the door to gripe at you and tell you how bad you've been. He's waiting to wrap you up in His arms, give you all the goodness He has to offer and say, "This child of mine was dead and is alive again. They were lost and are found!" 

There are so many misconceptions about God's nature that I encounter when I talk to my friends who aren't Christians, but a very common one is that He is controlling. This couldn't be any further from the truth. You see, God never forced anyone into salvation and He never forced anyone into Hell. He lets us make the choice for ourselves because His love for us is so deep. God would never make us do anything we don't want to do. 

Can you even imagine what that must be like for Him? He loves us so infinitely much that He gives us the choice to accept Him or to reject Him. I've boggled this thought around in my head for a long time and it makes me cry every time. He's God. I'm a worm on the pavement after the rain. I'm the smallest, most insignificant thing in terms of eternity, but He gives me the ultimate choice. 

God is the ultimate gentleman. He is kind. He is loving. He would never force us into doing anything we don't want to do. If we don't want to accept the gift Jesus gave us when He died on the cross we don't have to. He will be knocking on the door, but if we tell Him to go away or that we can do our lives with out Him, He will respect our wishes. He will still love us and it will hurt Him, but He will respect our wishes. 

Cloud by Day and Fire by Night

Here's that crayon art. Please, no need for applause.

I'm not okay right now. Is it okay if I say that? You see, my grandfather has Leukemia and he doesn't have long. I always knew a day like this would come, but I hid it away in the back of my mind. Now, what was once nothing more to me than a preview for a scary movie I'd see on television and never watch is my reality.

I know a lot of people who have been through unimaginable tragedies lately. They've lost children, parents, siblings, and more. Sometimes everything seems dark. I haven't even lost my grandfather yet and I already know that.

When you're on a cruise,  there's something called a muster drill. This is the time when you are told what to do in case the ship starts sinking. They give you a life jacket with a whistle and a water-activated light. Sometimes life feels like you've been tossed into a roaring sea on a moonless night with no life jacket, let alone a whistle or a water-activated light: life has no muster drill.

I feel like I'm walking through the valley of the shadow of death- just not mine. It's almost worse than the fear of my own death, if I'm honest. If I were the one that was sick, I'd have the peace of knowing that I was headed to the arms of Jesus when all was said and done. The illness would last for a while, but something greater than I could ever imagine would be waiting on the other side. It isn't like that when someone you love is dying. I know that my grandfather is going to be with the Lord when he dies. I know he will be okay.

I'm not okay- not right now- at least. The thought of losing him is unbearable. People have told me he is a great man and I know he is. I know that my life would likely be drastically different if it weren't for him. I can't stand the thought that someday I'll walk into my grandparent's house and no one will be sitting in his recliner. One second I'll be perfectly fine and the very next one I'm in tears just trying to hold it together and trying to be strong. Most everyone has been through either what I'm going through or something worse. I wish that the here and now was a memory and not reality.

All isn't lost. The other night I was working on a crayon melting craft with lots of blues and white. Inexplicably, I decided to flip my canvas upside down and start melting reds and oranges in the other direction. God put Exodus 13:21 on my heart:

 "And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night."

 I really needed that. I feel like God wants to lead me out of the darkness I'm living in. He wants to lead me out of sadness, hurt, and growing bitterness. I just have to let Him. You see, we can't guide ourselves through the times in life when the cities of our lives are being dissolved to rubble by an earthquake we never could have anticipated. If I try to guide myself right now I'll just walk around in circles in the dark. 

-Caitlin

Be the Moon

Have you ever found yourself wide awake in the middle of the night and unable to get back to sleep? For most of us, the answer to that is a resounding "Yes". When you are plagued by sleeplessness and find yourself walking about your room or house, you might notice a single bright light spilling through your window: the moon. 

Thanks, Google. This is a gorgeous shot of the moon.

When I was a little kid, my family and I were on vacation. I can't remember where to, but I distinctly remember seeing the huge Harvest Moon rising over the road just between the trees. I matter-of-fact-ly announced, "The moon is so beautiful here". I clearly didn't understand that the moon you see is always the same moon no matter where you go. (I also used to think that the moon chased the car as we drove down the road, but that is another story for another day.) The point of this is simple: God reveals His greatness to us in the simplest of ways and if we aren't listening we just might miss what He is trying to tell us. 

Fast forward from my childhood to last night. I was standing in my car port looking out at the night sky- a dark and mysterious blue canvas dotted here and there with small stars, but with nothing shining brighter than the moon. The moon was perfectly full and shone in a way so that not only was it bright, the sky around it was too. You know those moments when facts you don't often think of just pop into your head? This was one of them. All of the sudden, I remembered that the light the moon gives off isn't really light from the moon at all. Rather, the moon reflects light from the sun. I stood for a moment in awe of the moon's beauty until I finally thought: "Oh, I see now! Thanks, God." 

In and of ourselves we have no light. With Jesus in our hearts, we reflect the light of The Son- the ultimate source of light. We may try to shine apart from Him, but the cold, hard truth is this: when we try to outshine the Son, we aren't the moon. We are one of those stars barely flickering in the distance that, with light-years taken in to account, likely burned out a very long time ago. We are trying to sustain ourselves even though that is ultimately impossible. Without Christians who are willing reflect Jesus' light and to not strive to shine on their own, the world would be like a moonless night. People would stumble around aimlessly in the darkness with nothing to show them that there is a better way.  

Now, yes, the sun is a star just like all the stars in the night sky. Think about it like this, the sun is the only star in our solar system. (Hence the word "solar".) Yes, there may be other stars out there that are enticing and interesting, but the sun is our star. It is the one that makes our lives possible and without the sun we would be utterly doomed. Therefore (like how I used that, Paul fans?), the fact that the moon reflects the light of the sun is pretty awe-inspiring. Or at least I think so. 

We must be willing to first die to ourselves in order for God to make us shine brighter than we ever could have imagined. When we try to take our sparkle into our own hands, we have no light. We have nothing to separate us from the countless masses of self-seeking people who just want to see themselves shine. God has a plan for us that is for something far greater than our glory. God wants to use us to shine for His glory. The thought that He who put the Sun in the sky that makes our lives possible and sent His Son to us to save us from a life apart from Him would allow us to reflect the light of Jesus like the moon reflects the sun is a thought that is completely humbling, inspiring, and also a little terrifying if you think about it. When we endeavor to reflect Jesus in our lives, we can't take this task lightly. Our success, yes- even our failure, in doing so doesn't only impact our lives. It can potentially have an eternal consequence on those around us who are still sleepless at night looking for the light. They are searching for something that casts out the darkness. Sometimes it seems like the night is never-ending, but the light you reflect might just be what helps bring the light of Jesus into there lives.

The question is this: Are you reflecting Jesus or trying to shine on your own?

When Christian Community Hurts Others

As Christians, we live in an age where the idea of community is pushed above all else. We must get "plugged in"somewhere and find that group of people that we can "do life with". (The more terminology you know, the hipper you are.) Of course, having fellowship within the body of Christ is important and it is something that we can't neglect. There is, however, a point where we take it too far. There is, believe it or not, such a thing as too much community. Now, before you go grab your posse, arm yourselves with pitchforks and torches, and descend upon my apartment, hear me out for a second...

I was busily doing work on campus when a girl and a guy sat down next to me. They seemed just like any other girl and guy. They talked about average college things like how bad our food is and how crowded parking is. Eventually, the conversation lead to the girl uttering thins statement, "My heart yearns for community." With the suddenly elevated language, I immediately picked up on what was happening: they'd flipped the Christian switch. 

The girl began to talk about how her current rooming situation wasn't ideal. Two roommates were "so strong in their faith" while the other roommate wasn't a believer at all. She talked about how being around this roommate exhausted her. Was the roommate mean? No. Was she combative? No. Was she difficult? No. On the contrary, she was described as being a very sweet girl. She was unbearable simply for not being a Christian. This made her a leech sucking the lifeblood straight from her roommate's body. 

I couldn't even believe what I was hearing. The lost roommate is a burden? Wow. What about her soul? What about the fact God loves her just as much as He loves her saved roommates? I couldn't help being outraged and thinking, "What if someone who is lost is hearing this very loud conversation?" If I were a lost person and heard people talking this way, I would run from Christianity as fast as possible. At what point did lost people become a parasite?

We've got a problem here. We've let ourselves pull away into a little Christian bubble. We only talk about Christian things. We only listen to Christian music. We only watch movies with Kirk Cameron in them. (Unless the movie is obviously a Christian allegory. We're all over that.) We read whatever we want to, but our favorite books (the Bible not included) are by Tolkien and Lewis. We attend all the right events, know all the right words, and have just the right bumper stickers or magnets on our cars.

We consider occasionally moving our Bible study to Starbucks evangelizing. We go on prayer walks in communities, but never speak to the people living there. We sit in our pews or our Sunday School rooms behind our nice, big church doors and talk about what we want to do for the world around us. We dream up all these ideas. We send boxes all over the world once a year. All of these things are great, but the truth is, they're so simple. It is so easy to do all these things in our bubble, all together and never separating lest we be swept away by a secular storm.

If this is how we live our lives, we're living them wrong. God called us to be in the world, but not of the world. The key to this is actually being in the world. We can't pull away and have our own little group. We can't give the rest of the world a "You can't sit with us" vibe. We also can't give them a "You can't sit with us unless you become like us" vibe. We are supposed to welcome people and accept them into our lives just as they are. That's what Jesus did.

We all know how people reacted when Jesus went to Zacchaeus' house. They were appalled, but Jesus didn't care. Zacchaeus wanted to see the Lord. We never know what lost person around us has a soul that is dying to see God and to experience His love. Sadly, sometimes they don't. Sometimes we Christians are warm, bubbly, and the epitome of loving when with our fellow believers, but walking into that exact building is like walking into a meat locker for a nonbeliever. Are we really seeing these people? Are we really seeing the lost people we encounter day to day? Or are we just dreaming of the big picture across the country of across the world?

That lost person sitting on the other side of the room or on the other side of your apartment wall has a soul equally as precious as yours. They may not have an End It sticker on the back of their car, have a tattoo in Greek or Hebrew, or own every Rend Collective album. That's perfectly okay. They don't need you looking down on their lost state. They need your love. They need you to take the time to sit with them, listen to them, and let them know they are special. They need a friend who shows them that not all Christians are stuck up and unrelatable. Show them the love that Christ has shown you. 

9 Reasons Why Your Youth Minister is Basically a Celebrity

Let's face it, your youth minister is basically a celebrity. Maybe you've never realized it before, but these 9 statements are oh-so true...


1. You freaked out the first time you met them.

Come on and admit it, when you finally became old enough to be in the youth group and the youth minister acknowledged your existence you freaked out a little bit. It's actually okay. We all do.


2. Seeing them in public is totally tweet-worthy.

So you're sitting at Starbucks with your friends when all of the sudden... There. They. Are! Seeing them somewhere you weren't expecting to see them is pretty much one of the most exciting things on the planet.



3. Only the coolest of kids get to ride in their car. 

You know that you've arrived when you get to ride in their car. Savor the moment. This experience is one you are sure to remember for ages.

4. Their spouse is basically perfect.

Your youth minister and their spouse are essentially Beyonce and Jay-Z. Their love story is the stuff of legends and you can only hope you and your spouse are half as perfect as they are some day.

5. Do they have kids? Yes? Seeing them is like a celebrity spotting.

Face it: your youth minister's kids (if they have them) are the cutest kids on the planet. They look like little models, they're always dressed adorably and basically everything they do is the cutest thing on earth. 

6. They have more tricks up their sleeve than Oprah.

It may not happen all the time, but your youth minister somehow has Spidey senses and knows when everyone is hungry. On these magical nights they bring food that tastes like manna from Heaven. Showing up to youth that night is like ending up at Oprah's Favorite Things. Everyone. Goes. Insane.

7. You take offence when people don't get why you think they are so awesome.

People who don't know them might not get the hype. These are the kind of people you can live without. 

8. They bring a little razzle-dazzle everywhere they go.

Almost every youth minister plays some role in the church service. Even if they're just giving the announcements, it might just be one of the best parts of the service. You know you feel this way. We all do. Admit it, accept the guilt, and join the club.

9. They'll always take up for you when it comes to the "old people".  When they do, they get all. the. props.

Every now and then the "old people" will get mad at the youth group (over something they probably should get in trouble for) and when they do, your youth minister always takes the hit. Everyone knows they're journeying into certain death, but when they come out of it alive... It's basically like Harry Potter in the Gryffindor Common Room after the dragon challenge. Party down.

So take a little time to thank your youth minister and tell them how awesome you think they are! Everyone knows they deserve it.

What's in a Name?

Hello and welcome to my new blog! If you're just joining me or if you came as a fan of my other blog, you're likely wondering what Vincent van Gogh has to do with a blog about our walk with God. Don't worry, you're not alone in your wondering! Let me begin by saying that I am a self-described die-hard van Gogh fan. I'm a fan not only of his gorgeous paintings but also of the man himself. Many of us have ooh-ed at the sight of   The Starry Night or winced at the story of the painter cutting off his ear. Not many of us know much about the artist other than the fact that he was an amazing painter and an extremely depressed person. The truth is, in his life, Vincent van Gogh's paintings were thought to be... well... quite bad. It's a sad thought especially considering the fact that he is now considered to be one of (if not THE) best painters of all time. Still, he saw so much beauty in the world around him- beauty he didn't consider himself a part of. At different times in my life, I've definitely felt one with van Gogh and I argue that we all have. We can easily appreciate the beauty around us, but we can't appreciate the beauty in us. Our purpose seems so small while our imperfections seem so big. The fact of the matter is, we were made with a purpose even when we can't see it. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. We just have to hold on to God until we come out on the other side. Van Gogh once said in a letter to his brother Theo:

"I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God's help I shall succeed."

I often find myself going stargazing with van Gogh, seeing the beauty in everything around me while feeling utterly separated from it. I can't help feeling like we all do. My hope is that, with this blog, you and I can journey deeper into God's love and see the richness and beauty in everything that God has created...including ourselves.